Reese’s make the world go round

Okay folks, first and foremost I need to do a couple of shout-outs.  First to 1018 (she is the owner) for completely nailing BEAUTIFUL with your bouquet for ‘Z! He and Storm were quite pleased, as was I when I went over to visit later that day.  Thank you!  I am actually surprised that many flowers could fit in that most fitting vase I picked out!  And folks, this side of South Earl Avenue makes perfect sense to me.  I have had great experiences with several other businesses on this side of the street as well.  Check it out!  Also, I would like to tell Wy how proud of him I am for his most AWESOME achievement.  I know ‘R and Ram are very proud as well.  Thank you Wy, for your service!  😀

Hang on, Bartleby wants petted. . . So anyway, Thursday I had the biggest laugh ever at MYSELF regarding an email that I sent to a former professor regarding his no hat policy.  You see, he had this policy that hats (and I just assumed visors too, never asked) could not be worn in his classroom.  Well, I tried to take his class three times, but the hat policy always got me.  (Two F’s and an incomplete, I think. Don’t exactly know and really don’t care.) Anyway, this hat policy has bothered me for ten years. Why? Because I had the most awesome comparison paper in mind for my final paper regarding Booker T. Washington and W.E.B. Dubois and I never got to write it. (It’ll be even BETTER now, btw, and YES, I will be writing it! Ha!)  So I sent him an email asking WHY no hats in the classroom and explained about the paper I never got to write.  Anyway, he hasn’t responded, but the point is, I got to thinking about that email while bouncing to “Beautiful” and it finally hit me how completely hilarious it was and laughed at myself for like two hours before going to work. (I have a personal statute of limitations for a response, so if/when that expires, I will most definitely share this piece of hilarity. Got to give him a chance though. School starts tomorrow.  Well Purdue does, so his probably does too.  Yeah, he is no longer at Purdue. So he may not have checked his email because of the break.) RETRACTION: I will most DEFINITELY NOT share that piece of hilarity.  It would be too easy to figure out who it is, and I don’t want to publicly make fun of someone without them being my friend and getting the humor.  That is mean.  Sorry.

So I go to work and start handing out my daily Reese’s cups.  I take a bag every day and give them away.  Why? Because Reese’s cups make people happy and I like happy people around me.  I have justified the expense because I don’t pay for cable service. (Total waste of money to pay to have someone else tell you what your viewing options are. You can watch whatever you want for much cheaper, and depending on what you like, for FREE.)  Well Thursday I did my favorite route Inner Loop and because the time I start for that is an hour later than a lot of other routes, I had extra Reese’s.  When I have extra Reese’s they get passed out to passengers.  Why? Because I buy them to give them away, not eat them all and become severely obese.  Also, they make people happy.  Happy passengers make happy bus drivers. Win/Win!  Okay, so at like 9:00-9:30, I approach the Harrison and Grant St. bus stop and there are two Purdue students there smiling and laughing with each other.  I could see in their eyes that they would love a Reese’s cup.  So I offered and their eyes lit up even more and they most happily accepted. (ladies, you were supposed to send me friend requests, you just missed your pseudonym opportunity, perhaps it will come again, so don’t fret!)  So between that stop and Stewart Center, everyone got off and I only had my two Reese’s lovers left and gave them my blog address. Hi Ladies!  I cannot remember the segue, but I suddenly thought of ‘R. (may have been the Reese’s, since he gets four every day because he is my fave. Hi ‘R!)  And POW, it hits me. I totally forgot to let his dogs out before work.  FUCK!

I start cussing at myself (see above and extrapolate) and I continue on to Lawson because I knew one of the gals needed to get off at the closest stop to Mechanical Engineering and that was the one. (she works there and mostly likes it)  So I jump off and text ‘R to see if he can text his son Hoof to let the dogs out. Get back on, and continue my route completely pissed at myself. What kind of dog-sitter am I? And it is my best friend! Between Lawson and Purdue Village, I realize this process will take too long and Kowvin and Bitsy need to go potty.  So I get to the Discovery Park Parking Lot (love hearing that from the “talking lady”: the announcement system on the bus, that is what I call her) and jump off the bus and call Nels and ask if he has anyone that come relieve me for 30-45 minutes. (I explained the situation and he said I would have to wait until the school runs were done (2-hour delay that day) and then Amigo came over afterwards, and I went to fix my mistake.)  Thank you Nels and Gracias Amigo!  😀

So I get to ‘R and Ram’s house and apologize to the dogs for being so negligent and let them out to go potty.  I am still feeling completely horrible and rushed because I have now put others out for my mistake and I make yet ANOTHER mistake.  I kept my eyes on Bitsy, because she is the one that likes to wander and explore and she also keeps her eye on you to see if you are watching.  The mistake happened by not paying enough attention to Kowvin.  I saw him pee and just assumed he pooped (he was behind Ram’s car and that was where he went the day before) and then he was ready to go in while Bitsy was still searching for that PERFECT spot. So I let Kowvin in and waited outside with Bitsy to choose her perfect spot. (I also discovered how to get a smoke break while doing Inner Loop!)  🙂

Bitsy FINALLY completed her elimination tasks and we went inside and I was texting ‘R to tell him I had fixed everything and all was well. NOPE, Lisa was walking and texting and stepped in dog shit and furthermore, did not notice because she was walking and texting.  Lisa finally noticed after she put her phone away to fill the dog food bowl. (by now I had walked all over the kitchen without ever looking at the floor, only my phone. DOH!)  So now, I took a most PANORAMIC view of the kitchen floor (and rug) and said, “FUCK!”, once again.  Thus begins a long story of “Up Shit Creek Without a Paper Towel” (they only use napkins) that I will not explain for time’s sake, but completely hilarious! I completed the clean-up task most efficiently however, only to discover their washing machine had broken the day before they left, so then I had to do “rug” laundry at my house. (I did their load from their washing machine too. Plus extra towels because ‘R and I need to fix his roof/gutter problem that makes it treacherous for anyone to enter or exit! Get it ‘R?)

Okay, so finally done with kitchen clean-up process (most efficiently, btw, given the circumstances) and return to my beloved Inner Loop and get to Recitation Hall where Amigo and I are to meet.  He does a 10-100 (bathroom break) and I stop and leave a Reese’s cup on his seat.  Thank you and Gracias exchanged after he returns and all is back to completely good!  You see, Reese’s cups are a most PERFECT way to say, “You are welcome” and also, “Thank You”.  LOVE them!

Here is my point: That morning, I got so wrapped up in the hilarity of MY email to that former professor and MY personal hilariousness, that I completely forgot about my best friend and his most precious dogs. That, my friends is the definition of self-absorbed and selfishness.  And look at what it took to fix MY mistake.  Not only did I put other people out, I caused myself a lot of extra work.  That is not efficient whatsoever.  We all learn differently, this is my gift to you: My Mistake.  Sorry ‘R and Ram.  (I know you LOVE me anyway, just wanted to say it.)  😀


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