Damn! I Met Myself!

First and foremost I want to give a shout-out to the most awesome Purdue student that gave me one of his cookies today while I was doing the 4B route! Dude, that was the best damn cookie I have ever had!  Pretty sure the little pink circles were raspberry and intertwined in a sugar cookie? AWESOME!  Now ‘Z, I know you are a premier expert on cookies from Subway, so I will be seeking your sage advice on this matter soon. (Pretty sure it was from Subway because the cup I told him to please not spill and the plate was from Subway. Never paid any attention to the cookies there, always absorbed in my bread selection.)

Okay, so yesterday I had my brain explanation.  That was all new to me as well, as I had never thought about why my brain works the way it does.  As most of that process started prior to going to work, I already had most of it figured out.  I just filled in some blanks throughout the day.

So yesterday, this passenger that has bothered me for no reason I can pin-point, rolls his bike up to my bus and I say to myself, “Oh, don’t get on here.” Well he does.  I say my usual polite hello and he says, “Do you realize the buses 1904 (I was in 1904) and 1905 have different lighting than all of the other buses?”  I replied, “Yes, I do.”  He says, “Do you know why?”  I responded, “No. I do not know why, but I do know that they both are intensely bright in the dark and it is hard to see from the glare on the windows.”  He asks, “Have you ever heard of LED lighting?” I replied, “Yes, I have.”  He says, “Well, if you pull off those panels covering the lights, you will find LED technology behind there. That is the difference. It sends off a wonderful blue/white type light.”  I respond, “Well, I am not going to pull off the covers to do that, but I do love the color, just not in the morning because it creates a glare on the windows. But seriously great light.  Okay thanks. I need to go talk to ‘R for a minute, I have something I need to ask him.” The guy steps over and puts his arm around my waist and hugs me. This was the first time that he had hugged me that it didn’t bother me.  So I go do my thing. . .

So today I am driving 4B and thinking about this most wonderful blog I am going to do and getting that all straightened when all of a sudden, a thought from the new blog brings me back to this guy yesterday.  (I was at 52 and Klondike Road in case anyone wants to GPS track my “Aha” moments!)  And I realize, “Holy shit, this guy’s brain works exactly like mine, that’s why he has so much affinity for me and also why he bothered me so much.  He asked too many questions. Actually, not too many, he just asked the wrong one a couple of years ago.)  So let me explain that discussion a couple of years ago and then I will get to my point.

Okay, this guy likes to make up jokes, like when I was driving the 2B route, he had a joke about when I switched from 2A to 2B, did it sting?  And then later, that raises the question from him 2B or not 2B.  Totally got them and saw where he was coming from. The latter was an old joke I had already told myself.  So, he catches me downtown before the route starts and I am smoking and we do a question and answer session about the McDonald’s on 231 being torn down. I thought he was leading up to a joke, but nope, he was just telling me why they were rebuilding this most popular franchise branch. Code violations, etc. Okay. Totally cool. Then. . .

He asks me what my last name is.  I stated, “I don’t give out my last name.” He asks why. I say, “Because you might look me up on the internet and stalk me and/or show up at my house.”  Pause. Then I sorta laughed (realizing that was probably not the thing to say) and said, “Just kidding.”  He says, “Oh, so you were joking about the stalking thing, but will let me know your last name?”  I said, “No wasn’t joking about that either.” (so I lied and he caught it) He says, “Why?” I said because of privacy issues and I am the only Lisa that works here, so that should be enough.” End of discussion and he was pissed. Didn’t say bye or nothing when he got off.

Let’s fast-forward several months. I had come up with a new plan if the question got raised again and low and behold, he gets on and asks me for my last name again.  I said, “I don’t have a last name.” He laughed and said, “Everyone has a last name, what is yours?”  Well, between bus noise and misinterpretation, here’s what happened.  I said, “I don’t have a last name, like Cher and Madonna.” What he heard was that my last name was “Chermadonna”. And I went with it.  He said, well that’s an interesting name.  No problems ever since, but always did not look forward to him getting on my bus. Had no reason either, he’s a nice guy.

So today at 52 and Klondike it hit me like a ton of bricks. Shit, I had met MYSELF! Okay peeps, I get how I may ask the wrong questions now and why it bothers you. But what I felt really bad for was the way I handled it. This is how the conversation should have gone (not just with him, but anyone):

H: What is your last name?

M: Why do you want to know?

And go from there. . .

Essentially what I did was totally fuck up this situation. Here’s a guy that wants a simple question answered and I won’t give it to him. Why? Because I am doing exactly what I despise others doing and grouping people together when they are indeed individuals.  I was stereotyping and labeling and basing my answers based on pre-conceived notions and visions of bus “groupies”. (that is a term used by bus drivers that means a person takes particular interest in you and rides your bus for no particular reason other than to be with you)  Furthermore, I fucked myself up, because now I want to know WHY he wanted to know!

Okay. This is all totally correctable, so I am at peace with that. The next time I see him I will ask why he wanted to know my last name. Get that answer, and assuming it is not a stalkerish reason I will give it to him, apologize and explain why I let chermadonna roll, and I imagine all will be good.  I will also explain that asking that question is personal and puts people on guard, so maybe he should preface his question with why he wants the info.  Truly wondering what he does with last names. . . fascinating. See, bugging me too! Now I can’t wait to see him again! But I don’t want someone out there running around with false info that they heard from the source. That is plain bad.

Here is my point: I was totally wrong by assuming this guy was coming from a place that he totally wasn’t. Then I shut him down in the process and frustrated his day. Hey. I have been there. I totally get it. Okay, well I hope I was clear.

Not getting to the second fun blog that I really wanted to do, look for that hopefully tomorrow.  But you know why I had to do this blog first?  It’s because it might make a difference and I needed to absolve my guilt and explain why I thought the way I did. Shit, it just occurred to me that I now have a “Core Value” scale. Some outweigh others. Damn it! More shit to think about. . .

Okay, ordering pizza and relaxing the rest of the night. Later peeps!

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One thought on “Damn! I Met Myself!

  1. Don R. says:

    Hi, Lisa. I read your weblog (well…some of it anyway, due to the ‘time factor’), and I must say….you seem to have a LOT of time on your hands to write so MUCH! That’s my observation anyway….’not tryin’ to be critical…but, just contributing ‘my two cents worth’ 😉 !!
    Well…….’just wanted you to know that I read it (again, as much that I had time for), ’cause you asked me to do so….so….I did….’cause that’s what friends do….and I’m glad you are my friend (and not only a co-worker). So…..there ya go 🙂 !!
    TTYL, ~D.

    Like

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